“Heavy Heart-Binger” is a graphically woven image threading the baggage of my own inherited Filipino-Catholic background in contention with my experiences of otherness and marginalized queer migrant identity. Illustration continuously functions as the backbone of my practice whether I am working with clay or performance, and it works as an unreliable recorder of events that I perceive to have yet to occur or already occurred in the confines of a visual space somewhere out there. I liken this unreliability as a queer mode of navigating the vast abandon between binary ideas of invisibility and fecundity; the intense experience of praying involves shooting a freight­sized hope into the pitch­dark void.