In early May I ran into an old radio mentor of mine. We ended our friendship a year ago over an email thread where I called him out for burdening others with his responsibilities, and he accused me of being ungrateful. The initial sting has faded, and as recently as January I mentioned his name as someone who had positively impacted my life. Upon seeing me, he said he needed to speak his *peace*, and blurted out:
“You’re an awful person.”
I chuckled with surprise, and gave him a minute to mansplain it. I pitied him for holding onto that anger for so long. Did he think he could knock me down with a couple insults, and it would make him relevant? I wondered this while also calculating the easiest escape. Our ‘discussion’ ended with me saying something like, “We both said mean things,” between clenched teeth.
It took a couple days to decompress and understand the nature of my own anger. He shared the attitude of so many ex-mentors — people who thought that my accomplishments belonged to them. But my successes and my failures are mine alone. Just because someone shares knowledge doesn’t entitle them to take credit for an individual’s ambition. Showing gratitude does not mean submission.
In a similar way that some people take credit for other people’s success, some like to blame others for their own mistakes and failings. People construct their own versions of reality to protect themselves. Maybe this new reality manifests as a string of passive aggressive texts or ghosting, or maybe it’s the social media exaggeration of a negative review. Who’s to say.
In this issue, The Shilohs get back to reality and back to the studio; Vancouver Tenants Union stands up against landowner bullies; Tintin Yang questions diversity in festival lineups; Sofar Sounds Vancouver goes on the defensive; and RLA ruffles feathers. I hope you like it.
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P.S. Is your Discorder a golden ticket? 100 magazines in this month’s distribution have the new Shilohs flexi stuffed inside, courtesy of The Shilohs and Light Organ Records.
P.P.S. Pull out the calendar to see the full Music Waste festival lineup on the reverse, with art by Bryce Aspinall.