Being a child of the Information Age is strange, damaging and wonderful all at once. Needless to say, in regards to music, the Internet turned me into a sniveling teenage snob with little to no “taste” in music. The ease at how much music was available was staggering to my pimple-ridden brain and often times I missed the gems that were right in front of me. I was unable to appreciate life’s simple pleasures: having fun, tying to get laid, bad-ass guitar licks, etc. Now, being much older and wiser I have shaken loose the shit that once clogged my brain and discovered perhaps the largest gem of all: straightforward, catchy, kick-you-in-the-face rock ‘n’ roll. The Ramones and the Stooges are the most exemplary of this. The new Jolts LP falls into this category perfectly.

The drumming hones in on expertly executed 16th notes from start to finish (slowing things down only occasionally to sip a beer or two), but the real shit-kicker on this slab is the guitar! Good lord, may Ron Asheton look down upon these superlative riffs and leads with much adoration. Hell, there’s even some keys on this thing! I’m able to just drink a fucking beer and listen to songs like “Deadline,” “Miskatonic High” or “Loudness”, which pummel me with all their glorious riffage.
“Infinity Love,” an unabashedly slow and sappy number I’d normally hate, even manages to tug upon my heartstrings. I don’t know what else I can tell you except that 8% is a quintessential piece of rock ‘n’ roll in a time where music has become so turgid and boring that the most limp-dick wankery is able to pass for a real cool time. Long live the Jolts!